No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
