Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
