I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
