i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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