You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
