Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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