Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
