i permit you to call me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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