Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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