what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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