It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
