Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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