help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
