Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
