if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
