why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
