she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
pray to the hookup gods
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
