It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
