if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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