i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
