Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
