who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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