Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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