I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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