i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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