you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
