Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
