and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you will always have a special place in my vag
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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