It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
