Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
