The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
two words...techno handjob
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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