The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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