I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
