Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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