Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
