Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
