Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She needs sedatives and a leash
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
