the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I sprained my soul last night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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