thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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