I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We talked him into tasing himself.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
