i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
