if you like me you must not know who I am
Having a random hookup so left but love u
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Houston, we have a squirter
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
