Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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