Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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