Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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