I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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