Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
