i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
