the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
