i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
